Today's post is inspired by the unknowing 8th grader who graced my presence this week, and asked,
"Are you the one with the evil stare?"
Evil stare huh? I had not thought of it like that before, sure I can look irritated, frustrated, and caffeine craving, however, evil stare had a whole new connotation. Even though, at the moment I was slightly hurt that my facial features, at times, depict evil, a realization dawned on me, this ability has been, vitally helpful in my teaching career.
Evil Stare characteristics:
1) Glasses, one must wear glasses, of which to peer over to evil-ly stare at misbehaving children.
2) Slight eye squint, possibly due to the fact that you are attempting to peer over your glasses, without moving them, however this also adds to the drama.
3) Contracted mouth, to hold back the many, many things you would like to say to the misbehaving children.
4) Utter stillness, it freaks them out.
5) A concentrated stare, that says you, yes you, are making me insane, knock it off.
Reasons for evil stare:
1) Identifying one trouble maker, acting like a Jack A** for the amusement of his/her peers, and quickly, terrifying him/her into submission.
2) Questioning who was blind enough to let their child out of the house wearing, a mini skirt and tube top, with micro jacket, in the 8th grade.
3) Catching the hints of an inappropriate conversation, and squashing it with a moment's notice.
4) Indicating that it is 7:15 am, I have had one sip of coffee, and your crazed, 13 year old wildness, in homeroom, where as you lurched off the bus, as if it were going to devour you, is not what I was looking forward to.
5) Lastly, and most importantly, to indicate to said student, like big brother, and Santa, I AM WATCHING YOU.
Effects of evil stare:
1) Instantaneous silence
2) Rapid confusion
3) Attention away from problem and on you
4) Nervousness
5) Apologetic looks
6) Sudden selfishness, in an effort to throw the closest person to them under the bus
7) Prolonged worry that the evil stare might reoccur
8) A wondrous return to order
So friends, if you don't mind looking "evil" every now and then, get yourself to the nearest glasses store, pick up an especially evil looking pair, squint your eyes, and hold your tongue, ... and you too will be able to restore order to your kingdom.
